“Tell me about yourself? What are your strengths? What is your greatest fear?” I am sure that we have come across these questions at some point in our lives. How did you answer them? Did you manage to answer them truthfully? The other day I tried thinking through some of these questions in regards to myself, and I was surprised at my lack of knowledge of myself.
Back in campus, life seemed much simpler. All these questions were easy to answer. I’d sum up who I am under the title ‘Miss Boss’. Looking back now, I can say, I thought I knew myself. I thought I knew what/who the definition of Miss Boss was (glad to say; now I know and I can put on the title with better understanding).
Society has a way of fine tuning our minds to believe or assume something of ourselves. It uses labels to define us, like the one I did, instead of authentic words of who I really am. We can like a concept of a personality, like ‘Miss Independent’, but do we truly know this Miss independent deep inside? (Not the definition of the song). These labels end up confusing us into who we really are. It’s a pandemic called identity crisis.
Being a working lady now, with minor distractions (i.e. derailment of friends and ransom plots), I find myself thinking quite a lot at a much deeper level about what I want for myself which reflectively forces me to question who I am.
I thank God for men. 🙂 I don’t know how this world would be without them. While the majority of the women fraternity goes around bashing and declaring all reasons under the sun why men are dogs, I choose to find reason to celebrate them. They aren’t perfect, neither are we, ladies, but can we just take a moment to appreciate the brothers?
My colleagues took me out for lunch today at their favorite spot. It isn’t your conventional place. Nyama choma (roast meat), Ugali (cooked maize flour) with kachumbari and skuma wiki (fresh tomatoe and onion salade, and kales). That’s what we had. Afterwards, they took me to a fresh juice joint. We had a concoction of God knows what; biscuits, peanut butter, yogurt – at least that’s what I could taste since I didn’t know the name of the drink.
On our way back to the office, I thought to myself, never in a million years, would I have ordered such a thing if it wasn’t for these guys. Looking back at my life, I realize that some of the craziest places I’ve ever been to or done were when I was with the brothers. I have eaten 50bob -100bob meals (it was quite something and the ‘hotel’ still generously added more on request. I ask myself, is that even possible in today’s economy?), gone to places I never knew existed (deep in the heart of Eastleigh, which is basically Somalia part 2), been in a vehicle that is driven at a speed you can only hold your heart and pray for safe arrival (and he said that wasn’t even driving fast.. pfft! excuse you!), drank cheap liquor (before I met Jesus), and enough other stories that if you know me, you can see me in person for details.
Recently, we looked at ways in which single people can prepare themselves for marriage, by simply building a relationship with Christ. Click here to read the first part of the post.
Here are the final three points, that i believe if put into consideration, would put you in a league above others, once you get into the institution of marriage. 🙂
Love– Relationships are built on mutual love and respect. Christ died for us, not because he wanted to or wished to, but because He loved us. He first loves us (1John 4:19). Love is not an emotion. It is an act of the will. Jesus went beyond His will (“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done – Luke 22:42)“, and died for you and me. You love someone with your actions, not with how you are feeling today or tomorrow or the next day. God desires for us to be like Him; not to kill, envy, lie, accuse, engage in immorality, glutton; to love, to think on whatever is good, pure noble, and right (Philippians 4:8). And because you love Him, you will do what He desires. You learn how to love Christ, you will know how to love your spouse by putting their needs above your own. For instance your husband likes golf, you don’t, but because you love Him, you will accompany him to next weekend’s tournament. Your wife loves to attend fashion shows, but you find them a waste of intellect, but because you love her, you will accompany her at least once in a while to a show. Love is about sacrifice. It is important to note here that it is NOT sacrificing your individuality, but temporarily (or sometimes permanently) your preference for the sake of your significant other. If you love Christ, you will sacrifice your wants to please Him. If you love your spouse, you will sacrifice your wants to please them.
Respect – if you respect something, you value it. You have a high opinion of it. You hold it in high reverence. You have a high esteem of it. If you respect Christ you will not stomach any negative talk (or jokes) about Him. The things He hates you will hate. You will only want to say good things about Him. You will take His side, especially in public. You will not be embarrassed of Him because He is of high value to you. I could say you defend Him, but I’m glad that He tells us the battle is His and not ours, so He can defend himself (1Samuel 17:47). Though when it comes to our spouses, we need to defend them. If you learn to respect Christ, you will know how to respect your spouse.